The year is 1991. The Soviet Union collapses, and Mt. Pinatubo catastrophically erupts. Nirvana releases their classic album “Nevermind.” And as the US Military beats back the Iraqi forces during Operation Desert Storm, a young teenager – a handsome and dashing teenager – was studying a map of the operation that was featured in an issue of Time Magazine. This young man, studiously reviewing a chart of the military equipment involved in the conflict, had no idea what destiny awaited him.
Blissfully unaware of his fate to come, he did what young teenagers are wont to do: studying a war map and the equipment involved as his mother asks him “You’re really into that stuff, aren’t you?” Yes, Mom, now allow me to get back to my studies!
In 6 short years, that young man would go on to become an emergency medical technician and firefighter in order to fulfill his lifelong dream: to rescue cats from trees (and the occasional human). And then he became a police officer only two years later. But, possibly the most important and consequential role the world needed him in was that of a “Schnook.”
That’s right, this hero-to-be who risked his life to keep constituents like Mr. Whiskers, Fluffy, and that one cat that keeps coming around and sprays my grill covers (and the occasional human) safe was yours truly….
Now, feast your eyes as you gaze upon the 1991 version of me!
Also, see that blond scalp in the picture below me? He was my first drummer. He one time wanted me to play something slower and decided to “use the ‘proper’ musical term” for it by asking “can you play that more fellatio?” I refused, but I did slow the tempo down a bit.
I don’t think that was the right term. That one left a bad taste in my mouth.