FYI: Folks, You’re not going to believe this, but I swear upon my father’s life that this is true: One of the binturong from outside got into our server room through an air duct. I swear those binturongs are worse than raccoons and squirrels combined…. I digress.
The binturong, I suppose, peed on the wrong component and caused a huge electric shock. Took out our old website, so things are gonna look different and some stuff missing. I thought that someone just burnt popcorn and took out the breaker. Nope. It was another binturong. I swear the township needs to open up their hunting season earlier.
What is “The Schnooks?”
What? You have never heard of us? Well, join the club! The Schnooks, based in Batavia, Ohio, are not ones to chase popularity on social media. And they refuse to have their music dictated by an algorithm. And to make matters worse, they also use minimal pitch correction, unlike what you here on today’s releases that can sound too polished and fake.
Why? Because even in this digital age of AI ana Auto-Tune, there are still some people out there who prefer the natural human imperfections in music. Like it was for the entirety of music history until the last 25 or so years (thanks, Cher. You ruined it for everyone, and no, I don’t believe in life after love).
Who the Hell is that?
That stud-muffin holding the red guitar… that is the guy who started this whole abomination. His name is Stephen Bernhard, and he’s been playing one thing or another since around 1991-92. He’s a multi-instrumentalist, playing all of the instruments, all of the production and engineering, and pretty much everything else (unless otherwise credited).
Do you know why he looks so dour in that image? It has nothing to do with him dropping his ice cream cone on the ground. We got him a new one and he’s kind of over that now. It’s because he knows that you haven’t been to The Schnooks’ Bandcamp yet. If you don’t go to The Schnooks’ Bandcamp, or at least their YouTube channel, then he won’t get any money to feed his 9 children.
He’s not angry. He’s sad… for you. You see, because you haven’t been to either Bandcamp or YouTube, those 10 children will have to go hungry again. And it will be your fault. He’s sad that you hate children so much that you are willing to have 11 young, beautiful, innocent souls starve just because you haven’t gone to visit Bandcamp and purchase your favorite Schnooks tune while you’re there. Then Visit, subscribe, like, and comment on a song or two over on YouTube.
Think of the children….